Children learn the foundation

Children learn the foundation

Children learn the foundation of their social skills from their parents and other adults who are around them for significant periods of time in their early formative years. These skills are learned through everyday interactions so parents must be aware that every interaction they have with their child will influence their social development. Basic skills include sharing and taking turns and expand into more complicated areas like anger management. Parents teach by example, whether they intend to or not. And children also learn from games that teach rules like waiting your turn and communication skills.

Some children absorb these lessons with ease, while others may require more explicit instruction. Being proactive and using instruction when a problem or lack of social skill is detected is far more effective than disciplining after the fact. The former builds skills while the latter only teaches obedience. If parents focus on social skills as something to learned, like throwing a ball or riding a bike, then they will better understand why some children will require more help and more practice. It must of course be mentioned that if the parents themselves have poor social skills then their offspring are likely to fall into the same behavior.

Moral behavior aside

When I was thirteen years old, my moral foundation was tested when my best friend called me all excited and said to come over to his house. He lived in an old two-story house with a big attic that you could walk in. He had been in the attic and found an old Playboy magazine with a photograph of a young model, staring into the camera not wearing a top. We could see her bare breasts.

Moral behavior aside, other than National Geographic photos, it was the first time we had seen bare breasts. To us, this photo was a treasure and there might be more treasures down in the walls of the house! Imagine these two thirteen-year-old boys, up in the attic, reaching down between the 2 x 4′s into the walls of this old house trying to find more pictures of naked woman.

Everyone knows that is just about what you would expect from thirteen year old boys. But back in that day, there was no cable TV and we watched shows like The Brady Bunch and Gilligan’s Island. There was no Internet, nor were there magazines at the grocery store check-out promising you the top ten sex secrets to make your lover go crazy.

My friend nor I ended up perverted because we had parents who drew the line in the sand and enforced the rules they established. There weren’t many outside influences countermanding those rules. Today, a child can get on the Internet and find pictures and even videos of people doing things we never imagined when my friend and I were thirteen years old.

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During childhood parents look after

Let me start by asking what is strong foundation in a child? It is self confidence, a positive attitude which will propel the child to greater achievements in life. Although humans have unlimited potential to attain greater heights, all of us put a limit to our potential by self-assessment – by deciding and fixing our worth in our subconscious mind. We develop our own opinion about ourselves in our childhood. At this stage we set a limit to what or how much we deserve and most of us honor this self-imposed limitation throughout our lives.

During childhood parents look after the child when child is fixing her world-view in her subconscious. The parents have strong influence on this process. Therefore they are in the right position to shape the child’s attitude towards her life. How can parents ensure that they are providing proper direction to the child?

First of all, it is important to recognize that the input given to the child does not matter to her as much as the input she receives and registers in her mind. There is a difference between what is given to the child and what she receives.

The parenting skill is the ability to see from the child’s perspective. It is recognizing what input is registering with the child. Once this skill is in place the parents can ensure that the child receives, accepts and registers the right emotional input.

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• Providing proper direction to the child